Cut Others Some Slack | 4 Easy Ways to Be More Understanding
Nurture empathy and strengthen your relationships
Hello friends!
Here’s the latest edition of my newsletter. Today I want to talk about how we can be more understanding and empathetic towards others.
We're more forgiving to ourselves than to others
Many people, when they make a mistake, often come up with a good reason for it. They err, stumble, or mess things up because they are tired, stressed, or simply don't know any better.
But when someone else makes the same mistake, they quickly judge them based solely on their actions. They conveniently overlook the fact that other people might have also been tired, stressed, or lacked experience. There could have been distractions, misunderstandings, personal struggles, or even external factors beyond their control.
Isn't that unfair?
Stephen Covey rightly said, "We judge ourselves by our intentions and others by their behavior."
When we do something, we usually know why we did it, and since we're convinced that our reasons are good, we tend to be rather forgiving of ourselves.
But when we look at what other people do, we often don't have a clue why they did it. All we can do is take a guess or make assumptions. So we judge them based on what we see, without giving them the benefit of the doubt, as we might do for ourselves.
Being overly critical when evaluating the actions of others can lead to several negative outcomes. When you're too harsh on others for making mistakes, you run the risk of damaging your relationship with them.
To build stronger bonds with others and have more effective interactions with people around you, it is important to find a middle ground between holding people accountable for their actions and showing kindness and understanding toward them. This way, you can create a positive space where people trust one another and treat each other with compassion and mutual respect.
Here are four ways you can be more understanding and cut others some slack.
1. Practice empathy
When we expect perfection from those around us, it can be frustrating to see them making mistakes, especially in high-stakes situations where the outcomes can be significant.
However, it's essential to recognize that nobody is immune to errors. Acknowledging this reality can help you approach such situations more constructively.
Instead of reacting with anger or becoming upset when someone makes a mistake, show empathy toward them and cut them some slack. Step into their shoes and try to understand their feelings and perspectives. Putting yourself in their position allows you to see the situation from their angle and recognize that they, just like you, are prone to errors.
When you practice empathy, you acknowledge that everyone has their own struggles and challenges. It's a reminder that we're all human, far from being perfect, and we all make mistakes. This understanding makes it easier for you to forgive others when they err.
Showing empathy is also about being present and letting others know that you care about their feelings and concerns. This deepens your connection with others and strengthens relationships. When people feel heard and understood, they're more likely to be open and honest with you.
2. Give the benefit of the doubt
Many people have the ability to read others, intuitively guess their agendas, and see through their actions. However, no matter how skilled you are at this, no one can be a perfect mind reader. Your assumptions can only take you so far in understanding other people's thoughts and actions.
We don't always know the whole story or fully understand the reasons behind someone's behavior with absolute certainty. So, cut others some slack by giving them the benefit of the doubt. Believe that most people have good intentions unless proven otherwise.
When you accept that you don't have the full picture, you make a conscious choice to avoid jumping to conclusions. This choice communicates to the other person that you believe in their potential for good, even in the face of their mistakes or missteps. Your action reassures others and encourages them to be more open, honest, and willing to communicate.
Giving others the benefit of the doubt goes a long way in creating an atmosphere of trust and goodwill. Instead of assuming the worst, when you approach the situation with a mindset of trust, you favor a positive judgment and seek to understand rather than accuse.
Offering a generous interpretation and presuming innocence avoids unnecessary confrontations and misunderstandings and, therefore, helps resolve conflicts more effectively and amicably.
3. Choose forgiveness
When someone rubs you the wrong way or knowingly or unknowingly harms you, you feel hurt. However if you don’t process the anger and hold onto grudges and resentment, they can weigh you down and take a toll on your physical and mental health.
By forgiving others, you free yourself from the pain and suffering that can otherwise linger within. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean you are overlooking their actions, tolerating their hurt, or forgetting what happened. Instead, forgiveness is a deliberate choice to let go of negative emotions and move forward positively.
Forgiveness frees you from the grip of harmful feelings that can otherwise overwhelm you. It helps you cut others some slack and allows you to give them a bit more leeway.
Forgiving others also reflects your own maturity and emotional intelligence. It shows that you understand that no one’s perfect, people make mistakes, and you are ready to give them a chance to learn and grow.
When you choose to cut others some slack, you're conveying the message, "I understand that you may have made a mistake, but I'm willing to move past it." This positive attitude opens the door to reconciliation, builds healthier connections, and increases mutual trust, allowing both sides to move forward.
4. Nobody's perfect
No one deliberately makes mistakes or purposely does things the wrong way. Stuff happens, people err, and that's okay. Everyone has limitations and weaknesses and can be on the wrong side of mistakes, just like you sometimes are. Recognizing this fact can help you understand others and deal with them more compassionately.
When you acknowledge that people are fallible and can have their moments of error, you create a level playing field where you don't hold others to impossible standards. It becomes easier for you to accept people as they are and cut them some slack. You'll be less inclined to judge or rebuke them.
Realizing that everyone has flaws makes you rather considerate. You become more willing to give others the time and space to improve themselves and learn from their mistakes. Instead of rushing to judgment, you encourage them and even extend a hand of support.
In Conclusion
We all have our imperfections, and we all make mistakes. Cutting others some slack is not about disregarding their harmful actions or excusing their wrongdoing. It’s about believing that people can change.
Granting others some latitude and being tolerant allows room for growth and gives them an opportunity to make amends and become better versions of themselves. In essence, showing leniency and extending understanding are gestures of kindness and acknowledgments that we're all flawed, and sometimes, all we need is a little understanding and a second chance.
I value your support and look forward to your feedback and suggestions. Feel free to reach out to me with any questions or topic requests for future newsletters.
Wishing you a week filled with self-awareness, personal growth, and unwavering confidence!
Best regards,
Dr. Roopleen
If you like my work, do visit my blog or read my other articles on Medium.com