Self Sabotage Starts From Little Things: Like Not Accepting Compliments
Learn the art of receiving praise and build your self-esteem
Hello friends,
Welcome to my weekly newsletter published every Wednesday.
I’m excited to share my insights and practical tips to help on your personal development journey.
In this edition, we’ll talk about How not accepting compliments can take you down the road of self-sabotage.
Let's dive right in!
We all like praise
Everyone wants to be acknowledged, appreciated and commended. It is, after all, a basic human desire to feel validated.
However, it’s ironic when people actually pass a compliment, and someone responds to it negatively.
Instead of graciously accepting the praise and allowing themselves to feel good, some feel awkward, uncomfortable, or embarrassed.
They toss away the appreciation by downplaying their achievements or deflecting compliments by passing credit to someone else or attributing their success to external factors or luck.
This is how they make their actions look like regular and routine work, and their achievements seem relatively insignificant.
The inner narrative runs along the lines of “one should not come off as too proud,” “this will unnecessarily evoke jealousy in others,” and “maybe I don’t deserve it; it was just a fluke.”
What you don’t understand is that by brushing aside the praise, you are engaging in self-defeating behavior.
You also fail to realize that your negative self-talk undermines your self-esteem, sowing seeds of self-doubt, which will become huge obstacles in your path to success.
Why do people find it hard to accept appreciation
Some people think accepting compliments openly may be perceived as boastful and might make them appear conceited or arrogant.
Hence, they shy away from displaying their pleasure at being complimented and outrightly reject the positive feedback that others share with them.
Others refuse compliments due to insecurities, poor self-esteem, perfectionism, or fear of judgment.
Why is not accepting compliments an act of self-sabotage
A positive experience of receiving praise that can tremendously boost your confidence and can be used to empower yourself to grow and excel turns into a self-sabotaging gesture—just because you assume it to be something bad.
When you refuse to accept compliments, you are erecting mental barriers and telling yourself:
-‘You’re not worthy.’
-‘You don’t deserve it.’
-‘You’re not enough.’
This negative act may seem harmless, but it is not as innocuous as it looks.
It is a self-destructive behavior that sets the trend, which is repeated over and over again, and slowly adds to the negativity.
Eventually, it becomes a significant reason you feel less about yourself and suffer from low self-worth.
Significance of compliments
Compliments are a form of positive feedback from others, acknowledging your positive qualities, actions, or accomplishments and encouraging you.
When someone admires you, most times, it’s because you have done something good that is worthy of notice and applause.
So when someone pats your back, and says kind words for you, don’t misinterpret it and perceive what is ‘meant as a nicety’ as something negative.
Take it as an honest act without questioning its sincerity, suspecting the intention of people complimenting you, or trying to find a hidden agenda where there is none.
Why you should accept compliments
Feeling proud when someone appreciates your actions and accomplishments is not boasting.
You’ve delivered, performed well, measured up, done a great job, and risen to expectations. Don’t hesitate to acknowledge what you rightfully deserve.
Accepting compliments will help you build a healthy self-image by internalizing recognition from others and feeling valued. Allowing yourself to feel worthy will do wonders for your confidence, boost your morale and encourage you to be better, do better, bring out the best in you, and add more value.
Let go of false modesty
Stop denying yourself the acknowledgment you deserve, and stop coming in your own way of progress and success. Let go of false modesty. You don’t have to play the ‘humble card.’
Be willing to accept that you are worthy and capable of doing good work. Believe you have in you what it takes to succeed and that you have earned what you got. Embrace your success and practice feeling like a winner.
You are the good, and let the world acknowledge you!
I value your support and look forward to your feedback and suggestions. Feel free to reach out to me with any questions or topic requests for future newsletters.
Wishing you a week filled with self-awareness, personal growth, and unwavering confidence!
Best regards,
Dr. Roopleen
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